You know back in school I always found myself asking this-
Why am I an introvert? Why can’t I be an extrovert?Why are extroverts worshiped everywhere?Why are they so idealized? Why is it always so difficult for me or for introverts to do everything and anything? To talk to every single person alive in school,to engage in activities requiring speaking up or being the leader , or to speak up to the question asked by the teacher in class I very well knew the answer too or to just speak up my mind?
I thought maybe you know I just am not comfortable in my skin or maybe I need to change myself there’s definitely something wrong with me or maybe I just don’t push myself enough or maybe the concept of an introvert is messed up.
Now this problem started back at the end of 8th grade and as years passed it started to take a toll on me, and as I reached 11th grade I just didn’t recognize myself .Now, when I say I didn’t recognize myself it means that I was looking for an identity for myself,the individuality and uniqueness that being an introvert didn’t provide me with.
And now I was desperate.Desperate for an identity. Desperate to be an extrovert.
And as much as I was frustrated about not being able to have that identity I was more infuriated about not being welcoming and accepting enough of my own-self. So what if I am an introvert?
Surely by pushing myself further and further I would change myself to being an extrovert but why?Why should I change myself?Why is an introvert not acceptable even to my own self?